A thai experience!

Its rare that I run home and have to blog but wow, I think this is one of those days that people keep telling me to write down so I can remember it forever. We had another evaluation at school today, a big one, so that my school can be the top school, the royal school or something. I think the whole town showed up. I did my thing and mingled and all, then I went to my classroom after lunch for some "teacher time." I was not there 10 minutes when an important looking man and 3 less important looking men showed up with students. The older, important looking one sat in front of me and said "I want to learn English." I said, okay, because that's what I do and I was trying to be the super sweet foreginer to everyone around. We did our best at chatting then he called one of the other guys over and said "My son wants to learn English too." So, I did my best at an impromptu lesson. Using the thai- english dictionary he told me he was the prime minister. I about fell out of my chair. Then his "son" pointed down the page a bit, he is in fact, the mayor of Latbualuang. One of the other guys is the "sheriff." Cool. He kept talking a bit. Offered to take me to his office and show me around. Cool. Go to his house for dinner, okay. Take me to Pattaya for holiday. What? "My wife no come, she no speak english, hahaha." oh boy. Pattaya is synonomous with everything sleazy about Thailand so I was a bit freaked at this point. I took back dinner "I don't feel good. Mai sabai (sick)". He said, okay, I take you to your appartment. I get there 30 minutes, drive 200 kilometers per hour. Okay... so we still had a few more things to do at school.  He escorted me around and everyone's eyes were bugging out of their heads. I wasn't quite sure what to make of that. My teachers were telling me to go catch my bus, I said the mayor was taking me home. "Go get bus, the bus is here," they said. No, no, I go with him. I didn't qutie get it. Then he beckoned for me and I walked though the line of teachers with mixed looks of pity, fear, and questioning. Great. However, I am escorted to potentially the sickest car I've ever ridden in. A big fat BMW with every bell and wistle you can imagine. And the 3 dudes in the back seat. As we drive through town at between 20 and 100 km per hour he didn't talk much because he was busy answering his 3 cell phones. twice he stopped in the middle of the road and made the 3 guys get out so he could answer. my mind is really working at this point. he told me he makes 30 million baht per year, which works out to about 1 million dollars. As the mayor of a nothing town in no where thailand??? right. so he cruises through town and to my neighborhood, answering all 3 of his phones as we go, then tells me I must eat food before I take medicine. okay. the 5 of us roll into a resturant, grab a table for 10 and he tells me "you order all you want, I pay." so I ordered. then he got up to take a phone call, the 3 guys look at each other and the "son" jumps up and follows. I'm left with the "sheriff" and friend. the food comes, and no one eats, but they fill my plate. my experience in thailand is you eat when the food comes, no questions so when they weren't eating i was even more freaked. after about 10 minutes mayor and son come back. everyone eats and the food keeps coming. at least 10 different dishes. eventually he says "haha, I said son, I mean bodyguard. theyare my bodyguard" and makes a gun gesture. great, but it does clear up some mystery. we proceed to eat and chat, me giving english lessons the whole time. then he's asking me if I know khao san rd. yes. you like? yes, very much. he tells me that last week they went to khao san. next time I come and dance. riiiigghtttt. anyway, it was very strange and I think that this is the whole "all the important people are actually mafia" thing I've been hearing about. it was interesting to say the least. I now have "anything I want any time, you just call" as an option so great. it ended with him taking me home, the bodyguards carrying my backpack and walking me to my door and "see you tomorrow." we'll see what tomorrow brings.
*Love*

Since we last heard...

Okay, okay (as the Thais say) this has been a long time coming, but I’ve been busy! I have been studying for the GRE and guess what? I nailed it, 620 verbal, 690 quantitative. How, I don’t know, but hey, I’m stoked. Hopefully this means grad school in the fall. Now, some quick hits for the last month

·      Went to Kantchanaburi for the King’s birthday weekend. It was a very cool place and home to the famous “Bridge over the river Kwai.” The bridge was god awful scary and pictures of it and all the people walking on it, and smushing out to the way when the train was coming, will be included in a future photo album that I plan to call “Thailand: Safety First”. If you are ever in Thailand for the King’s Birthday, you may hear some nonsense about “no alcohol will be served.” Disregard, continue life as you were.

·      My last post was not meant to slam Thai people. I like many Thai people a lot. But, this is a very different place, I suppose, with very different ways of doing things. For example, at 7-11, if you are not spooning the person in front of you in line, then a Thai person will wedge themselves between you, making themselves next. Now I don’t know if this is because farang couldn’t possibly know what they’re doing in a 7-11, or because of the wildly self-centered mentality of  a vast majority of people here or what

·      On a kinder note to the Thais, I love many of their attitudes to farang. In America it is our assertion that if you don’t speak English, then it’s your problem. Here, when they see you coming and they know you don’t speak Thai, they panic. You can see the fear in their eyes and they will run up and down wherever they are to find someone who speaks English. They may grab you by the arm and march you down the street or through the store and will not let you go until you have what you came for. It’s kind of nice.

·      If you are in Bangkok and you want to go to the beach, people will tell you to go to Pattaya. Don’t do it unless you are specifically going to partake in the world’s oldest profession. The water is dirty, the beach is dirty, it is fantastically overpriced and it’s not that nice. If given the choice, you should go to Hua Hin. Wicked cute little beach town, plenty of fun to be had, beautiful water, good value and killer designer knock offs everywhere. I’ve heard kho samet and kho chang are even nicer, but they are farther, plus I haven’t been, so I can’t vouch.

·      I still hate teaching, though I don’t find it as unbearable as I once did. I have applied to grad school for the fall (BU, UMaryland, UMinnesota, UIllinois at Chicago, Tulane and U S.Florida, because I know you were gonna ask) and I really hope I get in. if I don’t, then I’m thinking a semester of teaching in South America may be in the cards.

·      On the teaching note, I’m done February 19 baby!!!! I could not be more excited. That weekend I’m going down south to Krabi, then further south to Hat Yai or Satun. Then the following weekend, I will be headed to Surat Thani/Kho Sumui/ Kho Phanagn for the infamous full moon party, which will be March 1. After that, Kelsey and I have a flight from Phuket to Ho Chi Min city on the 5^th, where we will travel up Vietnam, maybe hit Cambodia and then into Laos, where we have a flight from Laos to Malaysia on March 18^th, from where Kelsey will go back to the states and I will go to India and Nepal. And I will hopefully stretch my money long enough to stay until I go to Carissa and Mark’s wedding in New Orleans at the end of May. Hehehehehe I’m so excited

·      Tonight, I am going to see Green Day in Bangkok. I am really psyched. I have no idea how its gonna go. More farang than Thai? A translator for “everybody scream”? Super curious.

·      My mom and dad are gonna be here in like, 3 days. I can’t wait.

That’s all for now, believe it or not, I’ve written this while at work!

*Love*

P.s. i know i forgot Christmas and New Years. Next time, I promise

Thai "logic" part 1- because there WILL be more parts!

Thai logic is a bit of an oxymoron! There is very little at use in this country!
1. English is mandatory in all Thai schools. However, they start by learning grammar and writing, then reading, then speaking and listening. Which explains why my oldest students have been taking English for 6 years and don't understand me when I as "Is this some of the students or all of the students?"
2. There is a helmet law for motorbikes- the main mode of transportation here- but it only applies to the driver. This means the 1,2,3,4, or 5 passengers which may include the infant in the basket on the front, the toddler on the stool betweent the driver and the handle bars, or the three women sitting side saddle on the back while the bike is screaming down the highway going the wrong way are not required to wear a helmet.
3. When I told my placement lady that my job was nearly impossible, that the children didn't need a conversation teacher because they can barely read, let alone say the words in the book, she told me that everyone has problems. She is a working mother and needs to balence her time between children and work. Her assistant spends 600 baht a week on gas. Everyone has problems?!? Gee, that helps.
4. Everything comes in at least two plastic bags, but napkins and trash cans are incredibly rare.
5. My school shut down classes for nearly two weeks to prepare for the presentation to prove they are the best school.
6. My minibus driver this morning had a completely full vehicle, but still pulled over and beeped frantically at every bus stop. Where was he going to put more people???
6. Speaking of drivers, some drive down the road beeping at nothing that I can see. They also flash their lights, a lot, in no dicernable pattern.
7. The sushi I buy at the street vendor is kept under a heat lamp.

That's all for now. Like I said, more to follow

*Love*

Working for the weekend.

In the spirit of this blog maybe helping future farang teachers, I will try to post little updates as often as I can be bothered. Here's one now...
I went to Phuket this weekend, very nice. I missed my first flight Friday night due to my crazy, senile old cab driver who yelled at me, drove in circles and (I'm 90% sure) defecated himself on the THREE HOUR cab ride from one end of Bangkok to the other! Everytime I get out of a cab in this city I think it is the scariest cab ride I've ever had (Mardi Gras in St. Louis excluded)
Thai people are very Thai-centric. They are sort of oblivious to anything that is not directly related to themselves. Its kind of annoying and makes for very scary walking/riding anywhere in Thailand. Sabai- sabai is getting pretty old...
The weather says its 91 degrees right now, but I'm actually cool and wore a sweater most of the day. Yikes.
I am itchy. I don't know if its dry skin, or all the mesquito bites or the water or what, but I am itchy none the less.
Patong makes me sad. I bought a shirt that I love tho, and may only be appreciated by people who have spent any amount of time here. On the back it says "No I do not want a f*&%ing tuk tuk, massage or a suit, thank you very much." There is thai on the front. One would think it says the same thing, but it probably says "I am Farang, ask me if I need a tuk tuk, massage or a suit."
All for now, will check back soon.
* Love*

Love Bangkok, hate teaching. Is it February yet???

So, a much- awaited update! Sorry for the delay, its been a busy couple of weeks. As you can see from the previous post, the night I left was mighty hectic! Took the second class bus, which scared me at first but it really wasn’t bad and I took a couple of drammamine so I slept though it basically. Arrived in Bangkok and was shuffled to my new apartment in Bangyai, which is about 20 min northwest of the city. Its actually pretty nice. New construction studio, fairly large- by Thai standards- and its clean, which is also a novelty.  Unfortunatley, after I signed the lease (in Thai), I found out that my school is about an hour away! And that I have to be picked up by the school bus on the main road at 7 am, which means leaving my house by 6 am every day. Me. Miss morning sunshine. Great. Then I found out about my school. It is in the Auyettea Province, in a little town called Lat Bua Luang. I have 620 Matayom 1-6, which is roughly high school, age 12-20. I teach 18 separate classes, only 6 of which I see twice a week, the rest only once. So, people, 620 divided by 18 is….about 34. That’s the average tho, some classes have 20, 25 or so while some have up to 45! 45 teenagers who don’t speak my language and I don’t speak theirs. One word- YIKES! Some classes are great and know a ton, some are dumber than rocks, only not as quiet. They are absolutely out of control and act like I don’t exist when I’m up there teaching. They make me nuts. Really, really nuts. I thought I couldn’t control or get through to my RFK kids (no offense, kids!), but at least that had an idea of what the words coming out of my mouth mean. Its really, really, really hard. I must say that I felt prepared for teaching before I started teaching and now I have no clue, none whatsoever.  Its exhausting and overwhelming and frustrating and I don’t like it.  Period. The people are sweet, many of the kids are so cute and sweet and friendly. But I don’t like teaching. That being said, I will not quit. I will look for another job, but I will not quit, I will not go home. I will perservre!

Now, some observations:

1.     Thai people are obsessed with being white. They have all these whitening products here. Regular brands like in the U.S. make “white beauty” or “whitening” lines. Can you imagine the outrage if Olay marketed their white beauty products in the U.S.?  So anything I buy- soap, body lotion, deodorant- I have to inspect thouroly to be sure that its not bleach or something. Inspect because its all in Thai! And if or when or while the whitening stuff doesn’t work, they just cake their faces in white powder! Like, baby powder. Boys and girls, teachers, merchants, everyone. My kids had a powder fight in class the other day, and got Teacher. Yeah.

2.     So, because of the white obsession, I am like a rock star at school. They can barely speak English but they can say “Teacher Beautiful!” constantly. In class, in the hallways. When I’m walking in the hallways- the school is open air-  I hear from across the school “Good morning, Teacher!” shouted by multiple children from all around me. Its nuts.

3.     Thai females giggle. A lot. It’s making me mental.

4.     Not knowing the language is one thing in Phuket- tourist town- but here, in the (not so) quiet suburbs is really, really hard. Just to get food is a great challenge and takes a ton of mental energy. I am tired all the time. And learning Thai is nearly impossible. Even when I say Thai things- like the names of places or thank you- exactly like I hear them, no one knows what I’m saying. It sucks.

5.     Living alone, being alone, with no one who speaks your language, is a lot lonelier than I was expecting. Now if you know me well, you know that for me to put that in print takes a lot. I hate to be weak, I prefer to suffer in silence as they say. I always put up a front, so when I’m telling you that sometimes I am crippleingly lonely, just imagine what it is actually like.

6.     Kho san road in Bangkok had def made it into the top 3 coolest places I have ever been. It is nuts. Something everyone must try once.

7.     It. Is. Hot. In. Bangkok. And this is the cool season.

Anyway, I’m sure there’s more I mean to write, just a little wiped out right now. I will try to be on this a bit more. Miss everybody.

*Love*

From October 30th

So it’s been a long couple of weeks. I am writing this right now from a restaurant outside the Phuket bus station. I had a couple of jobs fall through and I was told at my lunch break during teaching practice today that I had to be in Bangkok by tomorrow (Saturday) morning. Yikes! I was planning on a couple more days at least in Phuket so it was quite the shock. I had to run home, pack and get to getting. Kind of disappointing, I was planning on one last blow out with the crew, but sabai sabai as the Thai’s say. I could only get a second-class ticket, so that should be interesting for my 13-hour bus ride! I have no idea where I’m going or where I’ll be teaching or if I’ll know any one around me or where I’ll live…you get the idea.  It’s a bit nerve racking and I’m def doing the wallow in self-pity thing right now. I’ll get over it I’m sure. I’m trying to trust in the process of my life and believe that everything happens for a reason. My last few days in Phuket have been great. I have faith, that’s what I keep telling myself. Fear and faith. So I don’t know when I’ll get to post this, but I know all of you who are reading it are pulling for me, so I appreciate that. That’s all for now, this is not helping the self-pity thing at all. Love and miss you all, more than you know, I’m sure.  More details to follow, for you and me.

*Love*

Adventures in Phi Phi

Phi Phi (pronounced p p) is a series of island of the southern tip of Phuket. That's right, an island, a two hour boat ride! For those of you that don't know, I haven't been on a boat in years beacuse I get horribly sea sick and no pill, braclet or satanic ritual has ever helped. I couldn't not go or I would have been left alone all weekend so I stopped by the pharmacy up the street to get sea sickness medicine. Thai pharmacies are verrrrry different from American pharmacies, you don't need a perscription for anything- and I mean ANYTHING. You want it, they got it, no questions asked. I told the lady what I needed and she gave me this pill I'd never heard of, but I took it and it was a miracle! No nausea, no dizziness. I think I'm in love!
All 32 of us went to the island, with no prearranged place to stay. We decided to split up since no one hotel seemed to have room for all of us. Kelsey, Bree, me and several others found the Harmony House. Ya. Me and Kelsey had a 10x10 room with two twin beds and a lightbulb hanging from the celing on the bathroom that fell into the threshold. This meant either don't shut the door or move the bulb. That worked a few times, until Kels go out of the shower and tried to move it and electrocuted herself! The place was grimy, to say the least, but it was 150 baht a piece for the night and the whole island was fairly grimy. They got hit hard by the Tsunami and I think the infastructure is still iffy. Most of the streets reek like sewage and but greatfully there were no cars or motorbikes, feet and bicycles only. Short of the smell and the hotel room, this was the most breathtakingly beautiful place I had ever seen. The water was ridiculously warm, probably warmer than the air ever gets on Cape Cod, and it was a color that I don't even have a name for. It was almost saphire, but deeper. Or torquoise but greener. I have pictures, but they do it no justice. Some of the smaller islands that we saw on our way in were accessible only by rock climbing. One is the island where they filmed "The Beach" which I hce never seen but will now.
Once we got settled, we came across this tour that took you to the "Beach" island, snorkling, kayaking, to watch the sunset and eat dinner- all for 480 baht, about 16 dollars! It was one of the best things I've ever done. We got to jump off the top deck of the boat, which was far but fun. And the snorkling was incredible! I saw all the fish you see in the pet store, but bigger and free, as well as the most colorful fish I've ever seen and a baraccuda! after snorkling we went to Maya beach ("The Beach" beach) which was sick. We swam for a little while and while we were in, two baby sharks were swimming with us. Aside from being a little concerned about where their mother was, it was super cool. And the sunset, oh my God, amazing! The pictures do nothing for it, this is a must see!
After the boat, we went and got ready to get out. Wait, I'll back up. In Phuket and Phi Phi (maybe other places in Thailand, I don't know yet) there is this phemomenon they call "buckets." A bucket is litteraly like a little kid's sand bucket, filled with a drink. On the streets people push flyers at you that call for 2 for 1 or 3 for 1 buckets or 100 baht buckets at happy hour, etc. Sweet, but a little dangerous- maybe thats why they have signs all over the island that remind you "Alcohol impairs your judgement"! they also sell make it yourself buckets at the stores. I bought a vodka, redbull(much stronger than American redbull) and pineapple juice. A very tasty combo! Vodka is the most expensive liquor to buy here, btw, might be time to switch to whiskey...Anyhoo, so I made my bucket and Kelsey and I went down to the beach to check out the fire show. These people light rope and sticks and whatever on fire and start whipping it around. Pretty cool- except when they let the drunk Americans do it. Also cool, but some of the crew returned singed to say the least! Then we went and found the rest of the crew at the Reggae Bar. This is where things went a little downhill for me. At the Reggae Bar there is a full on boxing ring in the middle of the bar. If you fight your friend, you get a free bucket. Not wrestling or playing around but shin guards, head gear and gloves fight. After my second bucket, I decided this was a fantastic idea. I asked every girl in the group to fight me (they wouldn't let me fight a guy) and they all said no! apparently I'm intimidating. Eventually a girl who was visiting some of our group agreed and Rhia declared himself my manager. 3 rounds, 3 minutes, 2 buckets, much, much harder than I was expecting. And I lost of all things! I was comfortated by my very helpful manager who said "Don't worry, It was just a beauty contest." The comforting words of my drunkin manager! anyhoo, I was so winded and dizzy that I completley destroyed my buzz and felt rather beat up. I didn't speak for over an hour, went back to the beach bar and collapsed in a chair for a bit, then went back to the hotel. A bit of a bummer, but now I know.
If you can't tell, I'm having a great time! This blog thing is time consuming tho, so it may just be relegated to sundays. facebooks easier, and I have trouble putting pics on my blog, so check in!
*Love*